The Chronicles of Persassy Jackson
by Mr. Invincible
Summary: Gaea: "Percy Jackson, I will kill you!" Percy: "Hello, you are number 81893. Please wait in line." Ladies and gentlemen, the drama queen himself, Persassius Jackson, sassiest of any hero to walk the streets of NYC. Series of drabbles/one-shots relating to the most sarcastic hero of all time. Warning: Parody/Crackfic. T for swearing.
1. Cake

**The things that I see while scrolling through Instagram under #Percabeth… that then led me to #Persassy...Well, they've inspired the plot (or lack thereof) of this story. The other half is inspired by Rick's Twitter.**

**This is not meant to be taken seriously and is more of a Crack!fic than anything. This also means that characters (especially Percy will be OoC with exaggerated traits). So chapters will probably be pretty darn short. **

**Disclaimer: Characters belong to the sassiest of them all, Uncle Rick. Cover drawing found online. **

* * *

Percy narrowed his eyes as he sized up his opponent. His opponent was a fine specimen in anyone's mind: tall, broad-shouldered, blond hair, washboard abs, etc… Percy didn't care to list off the remaining traits of the inferior man (in his opinion at least). He was not deserving of the prize for which they were competing.

The other man had a suspicious glint in his otherwise clear blue eyes. But upon seeing Percy's own face, his lips pulled into a frown.

The two circled the damsel in distress, trying to egg on the other. The beauty in front of them was dressed in a gorgeous blue gown layered with fine white lace. An exquisite beauty if Percy did say so himself.

"So Jackson," the other man said, "Plan on giving up?"

"Not a chance, Grace. Not a chance," he smirked in return. Without skipping a beat, he lunged for the goddess in front of him before his opponent had a chance to react. There's no denying it, he chuckled to himself, she was his now.

With a smirk, he looked up to see the other man's appalled face.

"I don't know how to tell you this, but baby, you light up my world like nobody else," he whispered to the beauty in front of him, still keeping his eyes trained on the opponent. "Grace, forget him, he's not worthy of you." With that, he pressed a kiss on those plump inviting lips.

"Jackson, man, that's not fair," his opponent disrupted him from his thoughts. Percy scowled in reply, "I won fair and square."

"You weren't supposed to touch—"

"Shhhh…Jason, Jason. I understand the pain and suffering you must be going through. But admit it. I'm the better man."

His adversary raised an eyebrow, "You cheated. We were supposed to share."

Percy's eyes grew wide in shock, "Share? You want to share?! YOU! YOU…Gah, threesome!"

The other man's jaw went slack, "Dude, what the Hades are you talking about?"

"You filthy…We thought you were innocent! But no, Jason Grace, you are a sly, sly…"

"Percy, just split the damn cake will you? I'm hungry."

"Go eat a brick. And Jason… Deal with it."

_...Persassy strikes again._

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**I'm not really sure from which depths of my crazy, nonsensical mind this came from, but I reiterate: Yes, this was meant to sound ridiculous. I'm writing this for my own insane mind, but if you do enjoy these…Make sure to give it a fave, follow, and/or review. Oh, and I am open to suggestions. Not a one-shot. **

**~TJ**


	2. Selfie

**Thank you to all those** **who reviews, faved, and followed this story... If it should even be called that.**

**Again, like I said, don't take this seriously and complain. That means no reviews about how OoC this is. I know; it's intentional.**

**There's no specific order for these stories, but you can probably guess when they take place. **

**Other than that, let's move on to the next installment of the Chronicles of Persassy Jackson. **

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Annabeth made a quick swipe at the monster with her dagger, her eyes blinded in fierce determination.

She hadn't seen Percy in more than hour and the last she had heard of him, he was headed out to the Long Island Sound.

Having heard the satisfying sizzling sound of the monster disintegrating, she quickly moved on to the next one, repeating the mechanical process of monster slaying.

She heard someone call, "On your left." Without looking, she reacted immediately, slashing at the monster present.

"What would you ever do without me?" A voice chuckled, coming from behind her. She rolled her eyes, knowing that the other person wouldn't be able to see.

She heard his sword hit another, resulting in a loud, reverberating noise.

"I was managing perfectly fine without you," she hissed under her breath.

He snorted derisively, "Yeah right."

"Shut up!"

"Chill, Wise Girl. I was just teasing. So, how many monsters have you killed today?"

"I lost count after twenty," she replied curtly, still ticked off after his teasing.

"Yeah, well, I've killed a dozen dracanae alone, a few hellhounds, and not to mention the Minotaur. He was a worthy opponent but those tighty-whities he was wearing were no match for me."

"Impressive," she said, sounding only half-sarcastic As she lunged forward with her dagger.

"That sounded like you really were impressed by me," he grinned ear to ear. He took down the demigod in front of him, feeling some remorse knowing that this was all the fault of the gods.

"Just shut up and fight," she responded, blushing against all odds. Damn him and his charm.

"Whatever you say," he replied in the same teasing manner.

Within minutes, the street was empty. Annabeth looked up to see the roiling, grey clouds overhead. She saw flashes of lightning every few seconds. The gods were doing their part to hold the ground, but it wasn't enough against the enemy.

By the time they had reached the Empire State Building, they had seen enough dead bodies strewn across the streets, friends and enemies alike. Percy was oddly silent as he walked with his sword out, as though waiting to be attacked.

That's when they saw a Titan standing there, waiting. Annabeth recognized him as Hyperion immediately from the characteristic blinding appearance.

The Titan appealed to the son of Poseidon, asking him to give up, but Percy merely stated with awe at the Titan in front of him.

To an outsider, he looked like a Belieber who had met Justin Bieber for the first time. In other words, he had the expression of fangirl on his face though he didn't say a word. He let the Titan talk, waiting for him to finish.

"Very well then," Hyperion replied, looking slightly perplexed by the hero's expression. "I take it that you will not be surrendering." The Titan reached for his sword.

"Wait!" Percy exclaimed, fishing an object out if his pocket.

He turned his back to the Titan (breaking the most important rule of battle: never lose eye contact with the enemy... Annabeth wanted to strangle the Seaweed Brain for showing his most vulnerable point to the Titan, but she was powerless).

The Titan looked equally surprised, almost dropping his sword.

Percy smiled at the object in his hand, "But first, lemme take a selfie."

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**Yeah, kind of stupid, but eh, Persassy Jackson. **

**Again, make sure to review, fave, and follow. Please feel free to give suggestions as well. **

**~TJ**


	3. Fashion Show

**I'm kind of surprised people are actually sticking with me on this story.**

**In other news, those of you who follow my story **_**The Green Eyed Marine**_**, I know I've been negligent with updates, but I should be updating within the next 2 weeks. Don't quote me on that though.**

**This series of one-shots is rated T because some one-shots will contain suggestive content.**

**This one is substantially longer than the other two.**

* * *

"Why is he doing this again?" Annabeth sighed, running her fingers through the raven black hair, the sleeping head lying on her lap.

Piper rolled her eyes at the blond haired girl's reluctance, "Cause we need a male model. I've told you this already."

"Can't you cancel the fashion show?"

"Please, you think my mom and siblings would let me cancel the Annual Camp Half-Blood Fashion Show because you don't want the Hero of Olympus to participate?"

"You already have Jason and Leo. I bet you can get Frank to do it too."

This time, Piper crossed her arms over her chest, "I don't know why you think this is going to end poorly. Frank, well Frank is good-looking and all, but he doesn't have the attitude, the flair to go up on stage. You know what I mean? It requires a personality."

"A diva personality?" Annabeth snorted unladylike. "I can see Leo, but Jason?"

"I can be very persuasive," Piper muttered sweetly.

"And you think Percy can pull it off?" Annabeth asked skeptically.

"I mean have you seen him?" Piper glanced pointedly at the head on Annabeth's lap.

"Sure he's a bit of a drama queen…"

"He gives Leo a run for his money sometimes with his attitude. Why are you so against the idea?"

"I dunno honestly."

"You're jealous, aren't you?" Piper winked conspiratorially, causing Annabeth to blush profusely while refuting the statement.

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

A sleepy voice mumbled from its place on Annabeth's lap, "Ladies, ladies, please, let's not fight over my fabulousness. We all know the answer. Now let me sleep in peace."

"Someone needs his beauty sleep," Piper grinned in good humor.

_**Later in the week—**_

While Piper was rushing around with her siblings making sure everything was perfect for the show, Annabeth decided that she would rather poke her eyes out with a knife rather than attend the show. She hadn't seen Percy all day, and she was fine with that.

Ever since he had been "selected" to be a model, Percy's attitude had become sassier than before, making him intolerable. At least, that's what Annabeth wanted to think. In all honesty, if she really sat down and analyzed the situation, she knew Piper was right. She was frankly jealous of all the attention Percy was getting from the other girls and the fact that he seemed to enjoy it (or he was simply oblivious)…But, she would never admit that outright.

Annabeth ate dinner alone, noting that the son of Poseidon was not at his table, neither were the other members of the fashion show. She figured that was some last minute rehearsal idea of Piper's.

Before she knew it, she was the only one remaining at the dining hall, the others having gone down to the camp fire area where the show would be held.

She contemplated going back to her cabin but realized that if she missed the show, she would have to deal with both Piper AND Percy's disapproving faces. She sighed in despair as she trudged down to where the crowd was gathered, the others eagerly waiting for the show.

As the torches dimmed, Annabeth had second thoughts. She could make a break for it, but that would just cause a scene. Besides, she had to be a supportive friend, right?

While Piper ran the show behind the scenes, Drew was the announcer, probably the result of compromise. Her fake personality was even more accentuated with the coat of makeup on her face. Annabeth had the urge to puke just from looking at it.

The first model was slim, auburn girl from the Iris cabin. As the models kept going and coming, Annabeth had to stop herself from yawning.

The male models were slightly more interesting. Jason shined like he normally did, exuding a calm, controlled exterior. He was wearing a tailored suit that fit him like a glove. He really did look like the son of Jupiter. Annabeth heard the girls beside her swoon when he winked.

Leo, after the tasteful appearance from Jason, seemed to care more about attitude than looks. He strutted down the aisle…in designer overalls? That's what they looked like to Annabeth. His normally curly hair was slicked back into a small ponytail. Even Annabeth had to admit that he had cleaned up fairly decently.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen," Drew began announcing the next model, "Put your hands together for none other than our very own, sexy camp leader, Percy Jackson! Are you ready?!"

There were screams from fan girls everywhere that made Annabeth cringe. The crowd took up a chant, repeating his name over and over again, "Percy, Percy, Percy, Percy!"

The lights flashed momentarily. Annabeth rolled her eyes. Leave it to Piper to be dramatic. The figure, who she assumed was Percy, stepped out on to the stage. It was difficult to make out what he was wearing from the bright lights that surrounded the stage.

"Dim the lights!" someone to the left her yelled.

Annabeth heard the crowd (read: girls) in front of her roar with pleasure as he came closer. It was until till he stood at the end of the runway could she get a good look.

And that was when she nearly fainted. Several girls actually did faint. He was wearing la pair of loose white pants…and only loose white pants. Against his bronze skin, he looked resplendent. No shoes and shirtless, and with the light shining on his face, he surpassed even Adonis. His six-pack looked, well…it looked like it was carved from marble. Annabeth had to restrain herself from hyperventilating. Now she understood why Piper had wanted him.

His hand placed on his hips like the true drama queen he was, Percy could sell the model look. He strutted back down in diva fashion, not even noticing how he had left the crowd. But, that's not what captured Annabeth's attention the most…

_**After the show—**_

Annabeth stood in shock in front of Percy while Piper tittered around from model to model, thanking them for their participation.

"Hello, Earth to Annabeth," he waved his hands in front of her face. His other hand was in the process of removing vats of eyeliner, mascara, and lipstick from his face. His eyes shone in bright excitement.

All Annabeth could think of to say at that moment was, visibly gulping as she tried to not to stare at his bare chest. He didn't even have the decency to put on a shirt! "Uh…that's not your shade of pink."

Percy wiped off the lipstick, "Hmm, you don't think? I was going for a rosy look with the blush and all."

"Are you ok?"

"What, yeah? I'm perfectly fine. You on the other hand look dazed. Something bothering you?"

But before she could respond, a crowd of Aphrodite girls…and a few Ares girls…rushed up to where the two were sitting. Several of them tugged and pulled on each other, competing for Percy's attention.

"Ladies, ladies, hold up. What seems to be the problem here?" he asked with a deep throaty chuckle. Gods, that was hot.

"Sign my underwear!"

"Kiss me!"

Annabeth gave him a disbelieving look as various girls threw themselves at him. And he had the nerve to smile like that.

Percy noted Annabeth's look, shrugging his shoulders with a cheeky grin on his face, his hand holding a pen…and a bra?! He didn't look the least bit apologetic (or he had no idea he was holding some girl's bra), "What can I say, Wise Girl, they love me. After all, I put the sexy in dyslexia!"

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**I dunno why this came to my head either. Seems to be a common theme with this series of one-shots. Anywho, if you like it, make sure to fave/follow AND review. I do take suggestions. So, please don't hesitate (unless the idea doesn't relate to Percy, then I don't wanna hear it).**

**Until next time,**

**~TJ**

**Virtual blue cookies to the first few reviewers.**


	4. Half-Blood Prince

**Yeah, this one is shorter than the last one. I figured Annabeth would be a Potter nerd while Percy is completely oblivious.**

* * *

Annabeth sat at the picnic table, her hand holding a battered paperback copy of _Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince_. She was reading it for the umpteenth time, at least in Percy's eyes.

He proceeded to then grab the book from her hands, squinting to make out the copious amounts of words on the page. It was all garbled and incomprehensible and wasn't worth the effort of getting a headache over simply to read it.

"Percy, give it back," she protested, but he put his hand on her face, stifling her complaints effectively as he continued to examine the cover of the book. He looked in disgust at the front.

"What's so great about this guy?"

Annabeth gave him a look that said duh, "It's Harry Potter. He was like my childhood hero."

"Yeah, well, what about me?"

"Seaweed Brain, you're my best friend. Calm down, Harry is a fictional character."

"Well Gandalf and Wannabe-Percy have nothing on me and Chiron."

"Chiron and me," she corrected. "And it's Dumbledore."

"Whatever," he scowled. "And why the hell are they standing in front of some ancient BBQ pit doing voodoo magic?"

"It's a Pensieve," she replied with exasperation.

"And that dumb looking skull with a snake…It looks like Dolly Parton. Who designed this childish cover? It's plain stupid!"

Annabeth had to stop herself from chuckling. She sensed a slight case of jealousy mixed with a hero complex. "Percy, I'm not downplaying your own accomplishments, but it's nice to read fictional stories once in a while, to get away from all that goes around. You know?"

He continued to pout, "Who's this Half-Blood Prince guy? Lemme guess. Harry frickin' Potter."

"Uh no," Annabeth said quietly, but being drowned out by Percy. She slapped her forehead. Why now? Why her? Of course she would be the one subjugated to one of Percy's infamous rants.

"I didn't peg you to like the princely type. Oh wait, I did, Princess."

"That was unwarranted…" Annabeth said calmly, trying not to aggravate the already silly situation.

"Yeah, well, deal with it."

"Someone took an extra dose of sass this morning," she rolled her eyes.

"Listen to this Annabeth!" he said, having not heard her previous comment.

"What?"

"My father is the king of the ocean."

"Yes…?"

"And that makes me the prince of the ocean."

"Okay then…"

"And I'm a demigod."

"Way to state the obvious."

"Another name for which is half-blood."

"And your point is?"

"That makes me the half-blood prince!" he finally exclaimed, done with his long-winded explanation.

"I guess," Annabeth said, not particularly interested in his argument.

"I don't think you understand," he continued. "I am the half-blood prince."

"I got that the first time, thanks."

"But, I am the half-blood prince."

"Percy, the half-blood prince is Snape. He killed…spoilers…Dumbledore."

Percy let out a horrified gasp, "He didn't! Wait, who's Snape?"

Annabeth slapped her forehead in defeat.

"Actually, doesn't matter. I'm probably better than him too!"

* * *

**I am a big Harry Potter fan. It'll be forever my number #1. I don't write for it because I don't support the canon pairings. But that was a side note, if you like it, leave a comment below. If you don't, let me know why.**

**Till next time, make sure to fave/follow/review.**

**~TJ**


	5. World Cup and Chips

**In case you weren't aware, I started a new series of one-shots about mortals meeting Percabeth. I know it's cliche, but give it a try.**

* * *

Camp had ended for the summer, and currently, the boys were hanging out at Percy's home. The girls on the other hand were out sightseeing in New York. Percy had offered to take them out, but they refused, wanting a girls' night out. Piper even mentioned something about getting a room at a hotel for a slumber party.

So now, it resulted in Frank, Leo, Jason, Nico, the Stolls, and Chris Rodriguez all sitting in Percy's living room with the TV on watching the World Cup. With Leo cheering on Mexico and Frank Canada, and Chris Spain, there was somewhat of a divide amongst the boys in what team to support. Personally, Percy didn't give two shits being a basketball player himself, but the other boys had vetoed his other suggestions in favor of watching the game. He shook his head in dismay. This was freaking America. Who played or even watched soccer?

His mother had left Percy in charge of watching over the blue cookies which were baking in the oven. The boys had ordered over eight boxes of Domino's Pizza, the Meat Extravaganza of course. Percy had tipped the deliverer and brought the boxes into the room single handedly.

The boys had begun to wolf it down within seconds, Nico burning himself on the hot, melted cheese.

"Isn't this the food of your people?" Percy asked, gesturing a slice of pizza wildly in the air.

Nico looked with disgust, "It's been corrupted."

"Oh, right, I remember Italians hate it when Americans ask for pizza," Percy said, thinking back to his short time in Italy with Annabeth.

"It's American now," the Stolls chorused, both reaching for the same slice of pizza. This resulted in a stare down between the two brothers. Travis eventually won.

Jason, for some reason, was rooting for Germany. Nico seemed slightly interested in Italy, but wasn't all that into the game. Percy would occasionally throw in the, "Go 'Murica," receiving weird looks from the other boys. Except the Stolls, they would repeat after him loudly.

"No offense, but America kind of sucks at this sport," Frank said.

"Dude, Canada isn't even in the World Cup, but yet, you root for them," Percy retorted.

Frank scowled, blushing a deep red, "Yeah, well, whatever…We have better healthcare!"

"How does that even relate?" Jason wondered out loud.

Frank quickly changed the topic, "Are the cookies done yet? I smell something bad."

"Efff…" Percy sputtered. Smoke was starting to come from the kitchen. He rushed over, trying to turn off the screaming smoke detector. He doused the cookies after taking them out of the oven, the sizzling noise signaling that they had been put out. However, the smell stunk.

The other boys weren't much help as they continued to watch the game like nothing had happened.

"Thanks for helping," Percy grumbled as he plopped down on the seat ten minutes later.

"We thought you had it under control, being the son of Poseidon and all," Jason replied, without taking his eyes off the screen. "Now, shut up and watch." Percy didn't watch, continuing to grumble how they were all useless houseguests who should just be kicked out.

Leo did a little happy dance when Mexico scored against Cameroon. Frank, meanwhile, kept shouting at the refs, saying that they were all dumb and didn't know how to play football.

The Stolls gave him a peculiar look, "It's called soccer."

"Football," Frank insisted.

"In all honesty, it should be football," Chris added. "But America man, oh America…"

Jason reached over towards the bag of Doritos which were now empty. He looked inside in disappointment and then looked in Percy's direction. Percy was still curled up on one side of the sofa away from everyone else with a scowl on his face. Jason shook his head at his cousin's childish behavior.

"Hey Perce," he called out.

"What?" the flat voice said.

"Could you get us more chips?"

Percy stood up, dragging himself off the couch. He went into the kitchen, rummaging inside the drawers for a few minutes. He returned a few minutes later with a plate and something behind his back. He then handed Jason the plate.

"What is this?" Jason asked in surprise.

"A plate," the other replied in a snarky manner.

"So, where are the chips at?"

Percy took whatever was behind his back and placed it on Jason's plate with a smirk on his face. Jason took one look and glared at his cousin, "Jerk."

"I heard you like to eat them," Percy answered back.

"I was like two!"

"Whatever, just deal with it and eat it. Gods, you're so ungrateful."

"You gave me effin' staples to eat, you douche!"

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**So, yeah, review/fave/follow maybe? I haven't gotten any suggestions from anyone yet. I have a few more ideas, but to continue, I'll need more. So, comment below what you would like to see.**

**~TJ**


	6. Proposals on Docks

Leo always felt that he was a third wheel around the famous Percabeth couple (as the Aphrodite cabin called them). In fact, Leo was always a third wheel with Jason and Piper and Frank and Hazel. But, it never stopped him from having fun.

While the other two couples were currently in New Rome for some weird Roman ritual, Leo was at Camp Half-Blood. He hadn't been invited. Not like he really cared or anything. Psh, he didn't need them. Who needs friends anyway when you have yourself and your tool belt? Ah, who was he kidding?

Yeah, he realized he was being pathetic, so he decided he would hang out with Percy and Annabeth. They were the two people out of the seven with whom he had had the least amount of interaction.

To be honest, they were both intimidating in different ways. Annabeth, well that was self-explanatory. As for Percy, he had just done so many things that Leo was too afraid to approach the guy, like he was unworthy. Leo had heard about how laid back and relaxed he was, but from Leo's first-hand experience, Percy had nearly bit his head off the first time they ever talked. Ever since then, he had stayed clear of the Hero of Olympus.

But no chance now. He had his cabin mates, but there was only so much he could talk to them about and be understood. He had a feeling that even Annabeth could understand him better than they did, and that was saying something.

He found the couple standing by the dock. The sun setting with its vivid colors illuminating the sky. He felt bad for disturbing them, but they weren't talking. Just simply standing. So, Leo took this as a signal to approach them. They didn't notice him (or they simply chose to ignore him). But they seemed to be in blissful oblivion for once in their life. An image of peace and serenity.

Leo kept his hands in his pocket as he shuffled onto the deck, trying not to make any noise. The two older demigods remained silent for a few moments before Percy spoke for the first time.

"Hey Annabeth, I've been thinking," he began quietly. Leo could barely make out the words.

"You were thinking? That's a first," Annabeth replied teasingly.

Percy rolled his eyes, not bothering to comment on it, "Like I was saying, we've known each other for a long time. How long has it been? Eight years almost?"

"Well, we're nineteen now, and you came to camp when you were twelve. So about seven," Annabeth replied slowly, trying to figure out where her boyfriend was going with this.

"And we've been dating for three of them," Percy continued. Annabeth audibly sucked in her breath, her hands covering her mouth.

"I've been meaning to ask you for a long time, but the moment just never felt right."

"Percy, you can't actually be—We're too young. We're nineteen for gods' sake!"

"One day, eventually y'know…"

Leo was starting to freak out. Why the Hades did he have to come here in the first place? Today of all days he was going to be social and not willing to be a third wheel, a couple gets engaged. He felt like the Bad Luck Brian meme, minus the Brian part. He took a step back, the stupid boards deciding to creak. It wasn't all that loud, but it caught Percy's attention.

The older boy glanced his way, winking at him with a smirk on his lips. He turned back to his girlfriend. Leo now felt oddly inclined to stay and watch how things went.

"You can't actually be serious," Annabeth continued, not noticing the small exchange. "Have you actually thought this through? My mother will have your head…"

Percy got on one knee, and Annabeth's words came tumbling to a stop. Now Leo knew that Annabeth wasn't generally an emotional girl, so he was shocked when she covered her eyes, as though she was suddenly overwhelmed. She continued to shake her head in a disbelieving manner.

Percy asked, "Are you saying you don't want to marry me?"

"It's not that, but…"

"That's the only answer I need."

Leo silently laughed at the unintentional pun. Knee, need. No? Not funny? He watched as Percy leaned down, fiddling with something before standing up again.

"Uh, why are your eyes closed?" he asked with a frown. Annabeth opened them, looking surprised to find him standing.

"Weren't you…"

Percy glanced at his watch, sighing, "Looks like it's getting late. Gotta go. See ya!" And before Annabeth had a chance to register what he said, Percy began running off the dock as quickly as he could with a goofy grin on his face, bending down to whisper one word in Leo's ear as he passed him: _run_.

Leo didn't know why, but he listened to Percy and began running.

Moments later, he figured out why.

"PERSEUS JACKSON! You get back here right this instant. I hate you so much Seaweed Brain!"

Leo heard Percy chuckle in front of him as he replied, "Love you too Wise Girl." If Leo could see Annabeth's face, he assumed it would be fuming.

"Real clever…Pretending to propose just to tie my shoelaces! I will get you back."

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**Thank you to everyone who reviewed this last chapter. Make sure to do so again. And if you haven't already fave/follow. I've gotten some suggestions which I'll use eventually, but feel free to still leave suggestions.**

**As for updates, it'll be consistent (hopefully) the beginning of the summer, but after that, I'm not so sure.**

**So until next time,**

**~TJ**


	7. Stars and Kindergarten

Mrs. Mortimer stood by the door, waiting for the parents to drop off their children for the first day of school. As a kindergarten teacher who had been teaching for the last thirty years, she was responsible for nurturing the minds of these children, interesting them in worldly affairs while building up their independence and their self-esteem. And as a teacher, she had seen it all from the shy, abashed child to the arrogant, boisterous child. They were taught that they were all special in their own individual way as teachers encouraged their strongpoints.

Admittedly, there were quite a few children who didn't need help in building their esteem. As Mrs. Mortimer pondered over this, children and adults alike had filtered into the room slowly. She absent-mindedly waved "hi" to the children who greeted her before they were ushered away by their parents to their cubbies.

A dozen or so faces walked by, all small and curious looking as they glanced up at her. Yet, one in particular stood out to her. A small, scrawny boy stood in front of her with long, black, curly locks adorning his chubby face. His piercing bright sea green eyes met her gaze unflinchingly. He had the faintest hint of a smile on his face. His mother, or at least Mrs. Mortimer assumed, looked like a gentle young lady in her mid-twenties with long brown hair and blue eyes, not very similar to the boy at all…Save that smile. The two looked identical as they smiled, though the mother's smile was more a warm smile in comparison to her son's mischievous one.

The lady held out her hand as she pushed her son in direction of new classmates, her voice dropped to a whisper as she spoke, "Hi, I'm Sally Jackson. And that's my son Percy. I have a few questions."

"Welcome to Kindergarten," Mrs. Mortimer replied. "I'll be glad to answer anything."

"Well, you see…" the lady began, stopping momentarily as she glanced at her son in the middle of a crowd of children, seemingly serious as he gesticulated with his hand. "Percy is not like the others. He was expelled from daycare, pre-school, and pre-k." Upon seeing Mrs. Mortimer's mortified expression, she hastened to add, "He's really a darling, but he manages to end up in the wrong place at the wrong time. He's generally quiet, but I thought I should give you a fair warning."

Mrs. Mortimer put on an indifferent face. Challenge accepted. No child had been through her without receiving proper disciplinary action. "No need to fear, Mrs. Jackson, Percy will be a reformed boy by the end of the year. I will make sure of it."

"No, I didn't mean…but…"

Mrs. Mortimer waved her fears aside, "You can thank me later. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to begin class."

Once she had managed to push out all the over-indulging parents, Mrs. Mortimer stalked back to her desk, hitting the desk with her knuckles to get the children's rapt attention.

Twenty pairs of eyes from almost every spectrum of the rainbow stared back at her. Once again, her eyes involuntarily met those cheery green eyes. She shook her head, trying to focus elsewhere.

"Alright children. Today, we are going to start off by introducing ourselves to one another. I'm going to hand each one of you a cut-out star. Write your name on the top and why you think you are a star. I'll be putting these up on the window later this week."

A girl raised her hand.

"Yes?"

"Can I have a heart instead?"

"No, you may not," Mrs. Mortimer continued handing out the stars, asking the children to take one and pass them back.

"Can I color mine blue?" Percy asked.

"You can do whatever you would like as long as you answer the question."

"But stars aren't blue!" a small blond girl protested hotly.

Percy turned to the girl and replied with a determined voice, "Oh yeah? And then you're going to say cookies aren't blue either!"

"But they aren't!"

"They are too!" and to prove his point, Percy got up and headed towards his cubby.

"Percy, sit back down," Mrs. Mortimer ordered. But the young boy ignored her completely, pulling out his lunch bag. He held up a bright blue object with a challenging look on his face.

"See, blue cookie," he told the girl. "That means there are blue stars too!"

"That's—"

"Alright, you two. Both of you calm down. You are interrupting the class."

The girl mumbled an apology while Percy smiled as though he had proven in his point. Mrs. Mortimer sighed in exasperation, "Alright children, you have thirty minutes to answer, draw, and color whatever you want on the star."

The end of the day rolled by sooner than she realized. When the two o'clock bell had rung, hordes of eager parents rushed into the room to pick up their awaiting child, peppering them with kisses. Percy's mother had picked up her child, gently pushing back his ruffled hair, asking him questions about his day. The boy replied with a kiss to his mother's face, saying that he wanted ice cream. The two waved a goodbye before heading out.

Mrs. Mortimer sat back down on hard-backed chair after the few straggling parents had left, surprised that she was exhausted already. That Percy Jackson kid seemed to be a handful, and the year had just started. She had never seen a kid so active in all her years of teaching, constantly doing something with his hands or feet as though he had A.D.D.

The day had passed relatively smoothly though Percy and the girl had resumed their squabble during naptime, this time over Percy's obsession with water. She had attempted to quiet the kids, trying to stop them from waking up the others, but Percy had quite a bit to say on the topic of water surprisingly enough.

Lunch time rolled around with the children eating what their parents had packed them. Percy had a well-balanced meal but seemed utterly disappointed when he had finished his cookies. Recess soon followed. And Mrs. Mortimer was one again amazed by how much energy the kid had. He was practically bouncing off the jungle gym. The little blond girl rolled her eyes, preferring to read a book instead.

While the boy was overall sweet, innocent, Mrs. Mortimer was relieved when it came time for them to be picked up.

She glanced at the stack of stars on her desk, reading what the children had written.

_I am a star because…_I speak two languages.

_I am a star because…_I can say the alfabet backwards. Mrs. Mortimer chortled at the misspelling in this one.

_I am a star because…_I like making friends with new people.

_I am a star because…_I make my friends laugh.

_I am a star because…_I like playing sports.

_I am a star because…_I'm good at drawing.

_I am a star because…_I'm good at building things, and I want to be an architect. Mrs. Mortimer recognized the name to be the little blond girl who argued with Percy.

She quickly read through the rest when her eyes landed on one in particular. She shook her head, mildly amused. Percy Jackson.

_I am a star because…_I just am.

* * *

**So, what do you guys think? I would appreciate your reviews. Again, suggestions are welcome.**

**And, to those of you who have been wondering, this is the only story of mine that is currently not complete. I decided to make **_**Mortals, Percabeth. Percabeth, Mortals**_** into a two-shot and renamed it **_**Nancy and Matt**_**. **

**As for **_**My Gay Best Friend**_**, like it says in the description, the story has been discontinued for well over eight months. I'm lacking the inspiration, and the fact that I have other priorities (such as my education) to worry about. The story is too big of a commitment. The chapters I have posted are less than twenty percent of the full, completed story. If you're really interested in finding out how it ends, I suggest you watch the K-Drama **_**Personal Taste**_** which the story is based off of.**

**Until next time, leave feedback below.**

**~TJ**


	8. Dear or Deer?

**Disclaimer: Ideas and characters belong to the Internet and Rick Riordan respectively.**

* * *

"And I was just like driving along, minding my own damn business when the stupid thing just jumped in front of me," Percy concluded, wildly gesticulating with his hands.

"That's not true," Jason shook his head at the mess in front of him.

Percy narrowed his eyes at the blonde, "Uh, yeah, it was…"

"Dude, it was completely your fault for not paying attention."

"I was too—"

"Were not!"

"Was too."

"You—"

"Would you two shut up already?" Nico implored, rubbing his forehead with the tips of his finger. Will shot him a sympathetic look, touching his hand briefly.

"He started it," Percy muttered under his breath.

"What are you? Like two or something?" Jason retorted, crossing his arms over his chest.

Nico glared at his cousins, failing to see how they could ever be in a confined space together without blowing something apart. Technically, they did blow something apart.

A deer.

He stared at the poor creature's remains in front of him. The tow company had been long gone, leaving Percy and Jason with half a deer and no ride. And who did they call to fix things?

This guy. The grisly sight of the mutilated deer made Nico focus once more on the bickering pair as he sighed and turned to face them.

"Well, don't just stand there. Get in already."

Nico barked his orders a little too harshly as the two quickly climbed into the back of Will's car with sullen faces, as he himself took shotgun.

Will got into the driver's seat without saying a word.

"How do you two always mess something up?!" Nico said in frustration.

The two cousins started.

"Well—"

"Jason—"

"That was rhetorical!"

"But seriously though, it was Jason's fault for not warning me that a freaking deer was in the way!"

"I did warn you, dolt!"

"Well, it clearly wasn't a good one. And who the fuck says dolt anymore?" Percy huffed, facing the window and pouting like a child you had dropped his ice cream cone.

Jason rolled his blue eyes, "If you weren't such a sarcastic _dumbass_ and actually had your eyes on the road, we wouldn't be in a mess."

"You distracted me, man!" Percy replied, still looking out the window.

"I was WARNING you! But, you, being you, decided to be a smart aleck and came up with a cheeky response!"

Will took the chance to glance back briefly through the rearview mirror, grinning slightly. He finally spoke, "So, how _did_ you get into the accident? Your conversation leaves much to interpretation."

Nico shook his head, "Why bother trying to understand these two losers." He threw up his hands in despair.

Percy's face held mock shock with Jason's mirroring his. "Who you calling losers?"

"Yeah, Death Boy. We aren't losers," Jason added for good measure. Percy raised an eyebrow to which Jason just shrugged his shoulders.

"So…" Will began.

"Well, we were just returning from the mall after picking up a new pair of kicks Percy wanted, and he decided he wanted to take a shortcut through some wooded area."

"I know that place like the back of my hand."

"We were lost," Jason put it bluntly. "Anyway, Percy was looking down at the directions when suddenly, a wild deer appeared."

"Ok…"

"And since Percy hadn't noticed, I said, 'Percy, deer!'"

"So?"

"Well, it would have been fine if he had just listened, but the idiot was being…well…an idiot."

"Good one, Jason," Percy deadpanned. "You just defined the word with the word itself."

Jason simply chuckled, "Tell him why we really crashed. Tell him what you said instead of focusing your attention back on the road. What you responded after I said, 'Percy, deer!'"

Percy looked up at Jason, batting his green eyes flirtatiously, "Yes, honey."

"Dammit, Percy!"

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**In honor of Persassy's birthday tomorrow. I'm not sure if I will continue this story, but I have a few more I might be interested in writing. However, this depends on whether people still care enough to read this Crackfic or find it funny. So, drop me a comment letting me know. **


	9. Blood Type

Will removed the bandage wrapped around Nico's rib. The younger boy's thin frame shuddered as Will's finger gently brushed past the skin surrounding the gash. Nico shifted slightly as though he were shying away from the touch, but his eyes remained closed and unconscious.

The boy had stumbled into camp, collapsing as he was inside the boundaries. Luckily, a patrol has found him and brought him to the infirmary. Nico had lost a substantial amount of blood and there was only so much the nectar and ambrosia squares could do to alleviate the loss.

Will swept the long black bangs out of Nico's face, deciding that boy, despite his currently deathly pale and sweaty filled appearance, actually looked quite cherubic. Something Nico would vocally protest against should he ever find out.

The bleeding was stopped momentarily as Will pressed a gauze tightly against Nico's skin. The wound was deeper than he had initially thought it had been.

He would have to do a blood transfusion to prevent any further damage in Nico's circulatory system, but he doubted Nico would be comfortable accepting blood from anyone.

And then there was the problem of blood type of course. While godly genetics did not connect any of the campers to one another, there was a common trend among cabins to share similar blood types. And the blood type of the children of the Big Three was as a rare as they themselves were: AB-.

Of course Will could just use the universal blood group of O+ and resolve the issue rather quickly as most of Demeter's children carried that blood type. In fact, many of his own siblings were also O+. Will was the odd one out at A+. In fact, AB- type people could accept blood from nearly any other donor. And one would think that in a camp like this, blood would be stocked in case of emergencies, but no such luck.

And while AB- blood accepted other blood groups, the preferred transfusion would be from another AB- donor which left Thalia, Jason, and Percy. And considering Thalia and Jason were currently not at camp, that left just Percy.

Will glanced briefly at the now sleeping Nico. He would be alright for now, but the blood transfusion had to be done soon.

Will found Percy fifteen minutes later, chowing down a meal in the dining pavilion after having done a run around camp with Annabeth. The blonde was sitting next to her boyfriend writing something down on a sheet of paper while eating a sandwich from her other hand.

"Hey Perce. I need a favor," Will approached the black haired boy who paused mid bite.

"Yeah, what is it?" Percy scrunched up his face when he finally turned and took notice of the drying blood stains on Will's white shirt. "Are you hurt?"

"No, no," Will quickly assured him. "It's Nico. I think you should come take a look."

Percy gestured his hands, indicating Will to lead on. By the time they got back, Nico was in a semi-awake state. Groggy.

"Whhherrreee am I—I?" he slurred his words from the drugs still in his system.

"What's up with him?" Percy peered curiously at his friend.

"I'm assuming something attacked him, but he hasn't been coherent enough to tell me what exactly. But he's lost a lot of blood."

"Is he going to be alright?" Percy sat at the corner of Nico's bed, prodding near the boy's gauzed wrapped ribs.

Nico winced in pain, scowling in Percy's direction.

"Be careful," Annabeth chided her boyfriend.

Nico managed to scooch up a little on his cot, "Why is Percy here?" The boy was still mumbling, making it difficult for Will to understand.

"You need a blood transfusion."

"From me?" Percy looked incredulous, moving his head sharply from Nico to face Will.

"Well, you are the most compatible."

"Oh really?" Percy raised an eyebrow, smirking.

"Yeah, so if you could sit…"

"Sorry, I can't."

"What? Why not?"

"Well, someone once told me I'm not his type."

"God damn it!"

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**So, I finally updated. I guess I'll be continuing the story as long as I have ideas, time, and am motivated enough.**

**Drop me a comment below letting me know what you think and if you have any suggestions.**


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